Give me back my socks already

Okay, I have a real major issue here. It's been weighing on me for many years. I just feel that it is time to bring it to the forefront because I know I am not alone.



It's no wonder I hate doing laundry. You see, it scares me.



Why is it that I can put a certain number of matching socks in the washing machine and when I take them out of the dryer there is a different number and they no longer match?



Well, I've pondered this problem for many years and think I have finally come up with an answer.



I know that some of you probably agree with me that there is a sock monster but it has always confused me how he manages, now I think I'm on to his tricks.



Here's what I'm convinced is happening, are you ready for this? The "Sock Monster" takes them. The "Sock Monster" has the ability to travel from house to house with a simple poof (Think of the house elf Dobbin in Harry Potter). There also must be hidden "elf" doors in both the washing machine and dryer. He takes some socks from my house and delivers them to other houses. He does it just to mess with our minds. It's just not right I tell you, just not right.

So here's where the rubber meets the road. It's simple really.

I know you have my socks people, so give them back already!