The Novelty of Facebook

There are days I have my issues with technology but it really is a wonderful thing.



Take for example Facebook. I thought I'd check out Facebook and hopefully reconnect with some old friends. I have located some and am having fun playing with my present day friends.



Over 23 years ago I moved to Beaumont from Austin at the start of my senior year. My parents were going to let me stay with some of their friends but I couldn't do it. Literally, I was there one day and gone the next. I totally picked up my life and started over. I just took it all in stride and never really thought about it.



I had some great friends in Austin/Pflugerville and I just left them behind. Now that I have stopped to think about it, if they'd done that to me I would have been so hurt and probably a bit angry. Oh, I'd know it was something that had to be done, but not the way I did it. We had so many big plans for our senior year and so many dreams. I had every intention of staying or I would have said good-bye. I would have had a good-bye party and cried with my friends. But God had other plans for me and it's been great.



I did keep in touch with a handful of my friends but eventually lost touch with each and every one of them. It's not a lack of love, life just got in the way.

I literally hadn't talked to any of my friends from high school in over 15 years. So I thought I'd give Facebook a try. What a fun ride it is already.



A couple of days ago I got an email from a very special friend. A friend I hadn't said good-bye to. I actually got an email asking what was going on in my life. I thought about it for a day or so and this morning I sat down to answer. The words that came out were a bit of a shock and cleansing at the same time. I had never taken the time to stop and think about the entire situation.



As I was doing it I realized it was something I'd like to post on my blog, to help me remember. Maybe it will actually touch someone and help them understand that God has a plan and it is a perfect plan. Even my number one life verse talks about that and I never stopped and put two and two together.



Here goes:



Mom, Dad and Cindy moved to Beaumont my senior year. It was arranged for me to stay with Sue and Clovis Williams and graduate from Pflugerville. Everything was going great: I had a job I loved, a great church, great friends at a school I had been at forever and everything I thought I wanted.

The Fam had been in Beaumont for about 6 weeks by the time school started. I'd visited a few times, but held on to my Austin life. The Fam was visiting churches and had found one with an amazing youth group. It was so unlike Hyde Park it was unreal.

I loved Hyde Park and the amazing opportunities it presented me with as well as the great friendships. I would take absolutely nothing back and would change none of my experiences.

Hyde Park was so huge and here was a youth group that averaged about 35-40 people with the core group of about 20. I became quick friends with a girl named Tamara and met a really cool guy. It always amazes me how God just puts people where they need to be when they need to be there. I don't know why it should, He is God.

School had already started in Beaumont the last weekend I visited. Pflugerville was getting ready to start school on Monday. When I visited with the Northend Youth, I was amazed at how close they all were. I went home that Sunday ready to carry on with my life, or so I thought.

Sue and Clovis were wonderful but they weren't my parents. Even though Mom, Dad and I had our problems, especially Dad and me, there's something about family. I was sitting in my room at the Williams' and thinking about all the things I was missing in Beaumont. Great friends, a sweet guy, my family and a chance to start over.

No matter how much I loved being "independent" in Austin, I was torn. Even though I loved Pflugerville, my friends and my "station in life", it hadn't been the same for me since Becky had died. When she was killed in the car accident, it left a hole that just wasn't filling up. I'd already quit band, which I loved, because I just couldn't deal with all of the memories. I still had my other friends and loved them all dearly. But,since high school had started, Becky and I had been almost inseperable, minus one silly fight.

Everything at school and many things in Austin reminded me of her. Even as much as I loved Todd and Kevin, even as good of friends as they were, it was hard to be around them in the same places we'd hung with Becky. Losing Becky gave us a connection, but also was painful. On new turf, Beaumont, it wasn't as hard. They visited me many times and were ushers in my wedding. The first hurricane scare after I got married, they were ready to come and rescue us. My husband was amazingly understanding when they'd randomly drop by. A couple of times Kevin would pop in and say he was in the neighborhood. I'm still trying to work out how the Austin area and the Beaumont area were neighborhoods. Then they found great gals and got married and we lost touch. I totally digressed.

Anywho, I returned on Sunday afternoon and sat in my room. I can't remember if I made it to choir practice or not. I think I did, I believe I remember telling Christy and Julie I was thinking of moving. Especially Christy because she had traveled with me to Beaumont. By the time I made it back to the Williams', I'd made up my mind.

I called Mervyns and explained. Told Mark since we worked together. Called my parents who were over the moon happy. Called Kevin who said he'd take me to the airport and then drive my car (if you can call that Chevette a car) and stuff up the next weekend along with Todd, if he could get off work. Called Samantha to let her know, talk about totally shocking her.

I went to Pflugerville on Monday and checked out and collected my school records. They were shocked because I'd been granted special permission to finish school in Pflugerville while living in the other end of Austin. I said good-bye to the couple of people I saw with little explanation and I walked away from their confused faces.

Kevin was there to take me to the airport and I cried the entire way. He left me alone except to ask if I was sure this is what I wanted. He told me nothing had been done that couldn't be undone. I told him I needed my family. He reminded me that my parents and I fought ALOT. I told him yes, but they're still my parents. I don't know if he understood.

He reminded me that I had him and all of my friends. I told him I knew that and I loved them and valued them. I told him I wasn't sure going to Beaumont was what I wanted but it was what I had to do.

I only got to say goodbye to Todd on the phone. Most of my friends got nothing and I'm sorry for that.

I only knew that I was hurting inside. I tried so hard to overcome it, and for the most part I did. No matter how many amazing memories I had, and there were too many to count, they couldn't replace the truly painful ones.

Can I just take a moment to tell you how weird this is? I truly haven't thought about this in twenty years. I just buried the entire thing. Then I get on facebook and reconnect with people. It doesn't hurt now so I can think about it. God's plan is perfect.

I don't know if you can imagine what it is like to totally start over with a clean slate. To totally recreate yourself. I am having some major "aha" moments now. This is truly what it is like when you give yourself over to God, you become a clean slate. How cool is that?

I never really believed that I had a "good" testimony. I didn't have an amazing conversion experience, I wasn't a bad bad kid, I was simply a young girl brought up in a Christian home doing what I was supposed to do.

Don't get me wrong, I was saved on that day but because it was all so "normal", I didn't feel like my testimony was that important. Talk about a major God moment. Again, I digressed, but in a good way.

Anywho, I got to Beaumont and had a really amazing senior year. My new high school, West Brook, had a senior class of over 500. Talk about a culture shock. To this day, I can meet someone I graduated with and not even know we went to school together. In fact, my best friend, since college. and I graduated with each other and had no idea.

My youth group was very active and we were very close. I had no problem finding a place to fit in. I didn't have a lot of the same things I'd had in Pflugerville/Austin but I had some different things that were wonderful. God takes away and He gives.

I had no problem recreating Missy. My slate was totally clean. It wasn't that I was trying to be different or have a new identity, I simply was able to have a clean start. I was still me but I had the opportunity to start fresh. No one knew the "old" me.

One time, in college, Kevin came to visit. We had a group of people at my house from the BSU and we played Scruples. Have you ever played Scruples? In Scruples, someone asks you a question and you answer. You don't have to tell the truth, you just answer. The group then has to decide whether or not they believe you. I don't remember all of the particulars, I only remember that Kevin, angel that he is, outed me every chance he got. In some ways he was right, and some ways he was wrong. Although, I had changed in many ways, fundamentally I was the same.

Kevin and Todd kept visiting. Christy came a few times. I'd go to Austin to visit. I was Samantha's maid-of-honor. And then that season seemed to end, too. I completely lost touch. That makes me sad. But life goes on.

I know that was a lot but thanks for taking the time to read it. I can honestly say it holds many "aha" moments for me.



Blessings,



Missy